Never Been The Same Since
by autismmom31910
Summary: With loving support from Mary Ann, and the Professors hypnotizing skills, Gilligan faces head on a tragedy from his past. Meanwhile, the Professor is fighting demons of his own. Warning story contains slash, rape, and probably some political incorrectness. Take it easy, this is the first time I've written a story of this nature.
1. Chapter 1

"Gilligan, I'm in love with you. I have been for a long time," Mary Ann confessed to her long time best friend, Gilligan. She waited in anticipation to hear what he would say next. He just stood there staring, as if he were in shock. "Well, do you... love me?" She was dying to know. Why didn't he say anything.

Gilligan was dumbstruck. He didn't know what to say. He knew what he wanted to say, but he didn't dare.

_Love her? I absolutely adore her. No, I can't tell her that. It would never work out. I'm too afraid. She deserves better. I know, I'll lie and tell I don't care... I can't say that either. I'll break her heart. I'm damaged goods. I'm broken and my fear has me bound and gagged._

"Gilligan," Mary Ann's voice brought him out of his trance. He looked at her. She was so pretty. "Do you love me too?"

"Of course I love you," Gilligan said against his better judgement, "but I-" He didn't get to finish. Mary Ann had squealed with delight and wrapped her arms around him. "Oh Gilligan!" She exclaimed as she planted her lips on his. Gilligan began to panic. His heart was racing and fear gripped him. "Get off!" he shouted, as he wiped his mouth and ran down toward the lagoon.

Mary Ann wanted to cry. He had said that he loved her, but he had shoved her away and ran like a scared little boy. Her hurt then turned to anger. How dare he. She knew he didn't have much of a way with the ladies, and that he could be shy sometimes, but what he had done was utterly rude. It was time he grew up and learned there was more to life than hanging out with chimps and reading comic books. She marched down to the lagoon to give him a piece of her mind. There he was, sitting on a fallen log. It appeared as if he had been crying. His face was swollen and his eyes were red rimmed and blood shot. Sympathy penetrated Mary Ann's heart, and hard as she tried, she couldn't stay mad at him. All she wanted to know was what was wrong with him.

"Gilligan," she said softly and gently laid a hand on his back. She didn't want to startle him or catch him off guard again. "Are you alright? You don't seem like yourself. I know you are kind of shy when it comes to intimacy, but you seemed almost afraid of me. I've never seen you like that before."

_If you knew the Hell I've been through, you would understand perfectly._ Gilligan thought.

"I'm sorry Mary Ann. You just took me by surprise," he said, now facing her and holding her hand. _LIAR! _Gilligan thought once again. "I do care for you, but it just won't work. I don't think we can ever be together. There is just too much you don't know."

"Gilligan," Mary Ann said with concern, "I want you to be completely honest with me. Are you... married? I mean, do you have a wife back in Hawaii?"

"No, of course not," Gilligan replied. Mary Ann secretly breathed a sigh of relief. She forged forward with her next question.

"A steady girl?" She asked.

"Nope." He replied.

Mary Ann smiled for a moment and in a joking way, flicked her wrist and asked him, " Are you gay?" She couldn't help but giggle.

"No!" Gilligan said sternly, " Don't you ever call me that again." Wow she had really hit a raw nerve. A tear slid down her cheek. Gilligan had never been so direct with her before, and it kind of stung. "I'm sorry Gilligan. I was just teasing, honest."

"It's alright, Mary Ann," Gilligan said, his tone now softening. "I'm a little uptight, that's all. I have a lot on my mind."

"Care to talk about it?" Mary Ann asked as she looked at him, showing he had her full attention.

"I'll try. I knew this would come up again someday. I was hoping I wouldn't have to share this horrid experience with you of all people. You are so sweet and sensitive, well, I just don't want to upset you. However, we've hit a crossroads. Our relationship is growing, and it either has to keep growing or wither and die. You have the right to know, but I hope you don't hate me afterwards," Glligan told her.

"Gilligan, I could never hate you," Mary Ann spoke and squeezed his hand. Gilligan took a deep breath and began to unravel his story.

"You see, Mary Ann," he began, "back when I was in the Navy, something awful happened to me. It caused me a lot of pain emotionally and psychologically. It has gotten easier to deal with over the years... well, except for when you or Ginger try to kiss me or seduce me. Mary Ann, what I'm trying to tell you is... I was raped." He said the last part very quietly, and wasn't even looking at her by this time. Mary Ann's mouth flew open. Surely she had heard him wrong. No, he couldn't have said what she thought he said.

"Gilligan, I'm sorry, but I think you had better repeat that. I'm certain I heard you wrong," Mary Ann's heart almost stopped beating, as she waited in anticipation, praying that she had heard him incorrectly.

Gilligan looked at her this time and laid it out plainly, "I was raped."

.


	2. Chapter 2

A hand flew to Mary Ann's mouth in shock. She sat there still and quiet, trying to figure out what to do or say. The only thing she was able to manage was a tearful, "Oh Gilligan". How could such a thing have happened? What kind of monster could even consider harming someone so kind and trusting? That was it, the sick bastard probably took advantage of Gilligan's kind and trusting nature. He probably thought Gilligan was weak and feeble minded because he wasn't like the rest of the other recruits. Mary Ann had an uncle in the Marines and she knew how brash and ornery the military type could be, just by the way he talked about his buddies. The way he used to talk about girls made it sound as if being with a woman was like going to a giant "pick yourself" orchard.

"Well, are you going to say anything?" Gilligan asked.

"Oh Gilligan, I don't know what to say. All I know is that I'm here for you, and I'll never stop loving you," Mary Ann had told him. She thought this was going to be the end of the conversation, but Gilligan began to talk again.

"I had been in the Navy for about two weeks. Things weren't going very well. I tripped over everything, I was the last one to catch onto orders given. I had tried my very best to become what they wanted... I just couldn't. I remember that day, I was the last one in the shower. It had taken me forever to get together my clothes, towel, washcloth, soap, shampoo, and deodorant. I had barely started washing up, when I realized everyone else was done, or so I thought. He came into my stall, Corporal Larry Porter... he was always mean to me. I knew going into the Navy was going to be tough, but he was deliberately hateful to new recruits, especially ones who were scared or unsure of themselves. He started by rubbing my shoulders. He said he was going to make a man out of me. I pulled away from him. I told him to knock it off. I thought he was just being a wiseguy," Gilligan said, his breathing was getting a little bit shaky, and Mary Ann knew he was going to attempt to continue his story. She braced herself for the worst.

"He-he-kept touching me in places that I didn't want to be touched. I couldn't get past him. The shower stall was small, and Larry was bigger than me," a tear slid down his cheek. He wiped it before he continued, "he said he was going to play a little game called Faggot Boy, and if I took things like a man, I wouldn't be the Faggot boy. He told me if I behaved, I would get the honors next year." By this time, Gilligan was looking at the ground. There was no way he could look Mary Ann in the eye. Mary Ann was appalled by the behavior that was being described to her. How could that man, no that thing, enjoy the things he was doing to poor Gilligan... worse yet, he had taunted him further by calling it a game.

"I tried to yell. His way of shutting me up was by putting his disgusting mouth on mine. I couldn't help it, I threw up on him. It was enough to shock him and I tried to get away. I yelled some more. He got angry and shoved me against the shower stall. I hit my head and lost my balance. That's when he- he..." Gilligan began to cry harder than he had ever cried in his life. Mary Ann instinctively wrapped her arms around him and began to rock him back and forth. She helped him to his feet and started to walk him back to camp, to the direction of his hut. She was going to get him to lie down, and calm himself down.

Once back at camp, Gilligan had stopped crying, but his legs felt weak. He and Mary Ann strolled past the Skipper, and Mary Ann told him that Gilligan had gotten sick and she was going to have him lie down and she would take care of him. From the look on Gilligan's face, he knew Mary Ann wasn't being honest. He knew Gilligan more than likely had to rehash that horrible part of his life again, just like he had with him, and the judge, and the Psychiatrist, and the Chaplain, and the doctor. The Skipper wished there was some sort of magic formula to make all the pain of his Little Buddy's past go away. Alas, there was no way.

Once inside his hut, Mary Ann instructed Gilligan to lie down. He obliged her and she covered him with a blanket. She told him she would be right back, and she went and boiled some herbs for a tea, then she made a pan of lukewarm water and placed a fresh washcloth in it. When she returned, she handed Gilligan the tea and encouraging him to drink. He sipped it and thanked her, "Gee Mary Ann, you're the best," Mary Ann smiled. He sounded almost like his old self again...well, the old self she knew. How much more vibrant and infectious had he been before... the awful act. She began to gently sponge his face with the damp washcloth.

"Gilligan, how is it you are so warm and kind to everyone you meet? I mean... well, you don't seem like... I've always heard that people who go through what you have been through are bitter and suspicious," she finally asked him.

"It's not easy," said Gilligan, "it took a lot of medication, therapy, and prayer. In fact, when I transferred to another ship and met the Skipper, I couldn't stand him at first. He was the kind that always was tough when he had to be, but most of the time he was kind and gentle. When you did wrong, you knew about it, but when you did right, you knew about it too. Anytime he would come up and pat me on the back for a job well done, I wanted to turn around and claw his eyes out."

"Oh," Mary Ann said, "I can understand that ." She wondered how the Skipper had gotten Gilligan to trust him. She soon found out.

"Well, one day the Skipper and I had a long talk. He could tell I was jumpy around him and he said he knew why. He said he had seen my files, but he would have known without reading them. He told me when he was a little boy, the neighbor man, who was drunk, came over and attacked his big sister. He said her screams haunted him for years. He promised that he would never ever do something so horrible to man, woman, or child... and he swore to God on it too. He said he wanted to help me any way that he could. I slowly began to trust him. That there helped a lot," Gilligan explained.

"You know, Gilligan," Mary Ann said, "you have come a long way, but you are holding yourself back. You deserved to be loved without being haunted by Hellish memories."

"Mary Ann, I can't. I just can't. It's not fair to you. You deserve someone whose not going to freak out every time you want to get close to them," Gilligan explained.

"Gilligan, I don't care about me. It's you I'm worried about. You are not being fair to yourself. I'll always love you and I'll always be your friend, no mater where our relationship goes," Mary Ann said, then continued, "however, one day we may get off this island and you might meet someone else that you would fall in love with, and you'll pass up the chance to be with her too, because that monster has you held captive. Gilligan, don't you want to get married and have children someday? Don't you want to be free?"

Gilligan thought about this. What would it feel like to feel like his old self again? He wasn't thinking about the broken self that had been pieced together by bonds of therapy, meditations, and just trying to push everything out of his mind as much as possible. No, he knew deep down his faith was phony, his smiles were phony, his enthusiasm for life was phony. All of it was a facade, except for the way he felt about the other six castaways. He loved them all, Mary Ann the most, and then the Skipper. They were his family and they were his protectors. Finally, he spoke, "What should I do?"

"You know, the Professor has a degree in Psychology. Maybe he can hypnotize you and either help you forget or help you work past your pain somehow. I heard on the radio that hypnosis is not just a carnival attraction anymore. There are people going to Psychiatrist to be hypnotized for a number of things; to quit smoking, war veterans who suffer from shell shock, helping witnesses of horrendous crimes remember details about their assailants... it's being used for all sorts of things." Mary Ann tried her best to make her case sound appealing.

"What if if doesn't work? The Professor has tried hypnosis before and it didn't turn out so good," Gilligan pointed out, "you remember when Skipper had amnesia and the Professor tried to hypnotize him and he thought it was World War II and we were the enemy? Or how about when you thought you were Ginger? I thought I was you, and you still thought you were Ginger. I didn't work,"

"Well, Gilligan, we just have to pray it works this time. I'm desperate to help you. Can I please ask him if he'll consider helping you?" Mary Ann begged, holding his hand.

Gilligan thought, part of him didn't want to have to repeat his story yet another time, but part of him was curious. Something inside of him had enough hope to agree with Mary Ann's request, just enough to dare to dream true healing might come.

Later that afternoon, Mary Ann went to the Professor, explaining that Gilligan had something troubling in his past that she thought maybe the Professor could help him with.

"Can you tell me the nature of this tragedy?" The Professor had asked.

Mary Ann looked down at the floor, not because she was ashamed, but because she felt uneasy telling the Professor what she was about to say, "Gilligan was raped when he was in the Navy. To make it even worse, the guy who did it passed it off as some sort of hazing ritual...he called it a game." At that point, Mary Ann burst into tears. The Professor gently squeezed Mary Ann's shoulder and handed her a handkerchief.

_Rape!_ The word made the Professor's blood run cold. He couldn't get himself involved in this, could he? When did he ever turn down one of his friends in need? Why was it so hard to say yes to Mary Ann's request? All of them would do anything for him... especially Gilligan. He was one of the most selfless persons that he knew. He had to stand strong and at least try to help Gilligan out. Whether it would end up helping or not, he didn't know. He just knew now that he had to try.

"Alright Mary Ann, I'll do it. You have Gilligan here at ten o'clock in the morning. Tell the Skipper to take the others down to the lagoon for the day. Tell him Gilligan is helping me with an experiment and we can't be bothered. Period. This is most likely going to be a frightening intervention. It would do you well to go down to the lagoon with the others," the Professor instructed.

"Oh, please let me stay with him Professor. Gilligan's scared and he's really upset about having to share this again, but he's hoping you'll be able to help him," Mary Ann asked.

"Alright," the Professor said, "but if he should happen to get violent, I'll have to send you out."

"Yes Professor, I understand," Mary Ann said as she hugged him and then left.

_I pray dragging one skeleton out of the closet won't drag out another. _ The Professor thought to himself.

**Just wanted to say. In the beginning of this chapter, I make a reference about the military being ornery and brash. I want everyone to know these are not my feelings. I love our guys and gals in uniform. Most of them are quite respectable. I just used that line as one instance for Mary Ann's POV and that is all. I would never want to offend anyone who protects our country.**


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, the Professor paced back and forth in his hut. His watch read 9:55. In five minutes Gilligan and Mary Ann would be there. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to keep his end of the bargain. Would he be able to sit there and guide Gilligan through, in his own opinion, the worst event that could ever happen to another human being?

_What if I start freaking out? What if I lose complete control? What if... NO! Get away from me Joe! Stop! _The Professor shook his head, took a deep breath and got his bearings once again. He had to stand strong. He owed it to Gilligan as a rape victim to offer him some sort of peace of mind.

_No, he's a rape survivor... and that is exactly what you're going to drill into his head. He doesn't have to be controlled by his circumstances. Heaven forbid any of us be controlled by our circumstances._

The Professor's watch beeped. It was ten o'clock on the dot. _God, I know I don't acknowledge you much as a man of science, but I need your help. Gilligan needs your help. It's time for the hauntings to stop. Please, help me be strong. Thank you in advance._ Amen

_No_ sooner had the Professor finished his prayer, there was a knock upon his door. He bade Mary Ann and Gilligan inside and told them to take a seat.

"So Gilligan, Mary Ann tells me you went through quite an ordeal in the Navy. Is that correct?" The Professor asked. Gilligan nodded hesitantly, as if the sheer admission of it brought him shame. "You do realize that you did nothing wrong. You did nothing to ask for it. Most of all, you didn't deserve it. Rape is deliberate and cruel. I just wanted to put that out there before we get started. So, are you ready?"

Gilligan looked over to Mary Ann, who grabbed his hand and squeezed it. She told him that she would be there for as long as he needed her. "I think I'm ready. I'm really scared though," Gilligan admitted.

"Don't you worry. You will be asleep. The hypnosis will be an exercise of concentration. You will be focusing on the sound of my voice, and on the thoughts you will be pulling from your subconscious memory. You will have the ability to follow commands that I give you and your mind will be open to suggestive thinking, meaning, if I suggest to you that you will no longer be afraid of your attacker, that's how your mind will perceive it. Do you understand?" Gilligan nodded. "When you awake, you should feel very differently than before you went under. You'll have a new perspective, but you will have to train yourself to keep your new way of thinking. Not speaking the suggestions given to you on a regular basis can cause a relapse. Your mind will forget what you have trained it to do. Do I make myself clear?" Gilligan nodded again.

"Ok, we're ready to begin," the Professor said, taking a deep breath and pulling out his pocket watch. "Look at the pocket watch, Gilligan. Focus on nothing else but the watch... that's it... follow it with your eyes. The watch is the only thing you see. The only sound you hear is the sound of my voice. Tune out everything but the sound of my voice and the motion of the watch." Gilligan, already almost in a trance-like state, followed the movement of the watch. Mary Ann even seemed to disappear from his thoughts, as all he could see was the watch. All he could hear was the voice of the Professor. "You're getting sleepy... sleepy... very sleepy. That's good, Gilligan, you are almost asleep. Now, I want your mind to go completely blank for a few moments. We will soon revisit your past.' The Professor looked over at Mary Ann and nodded his head, signalling that he had most assuredly put Gilligan under. "Now Gilligan, I want you to focus on your very first memory. Go back as far as you can and tell me the first thing you remember."

"The circus," Gilligan stated.

"What about the circus?" The Professor asked.

"I was three. I got to ride the elephant. It was high, so high up. I was afraid. My uncle Charlie climbed on the elephant with me. It was fun then. The elephant's name was Mambo. Her skin was rough. I got to feed her a peanut," Gilligan recalled.

"Ok," the Professor said, "you can clear your mind again. Just let everything go. You are under the power of hypnosis. You will be able to recall whatever I ask you to recall, and you will be able to follow my suggestions." It was now or never. The Professor sighed as he began his intervention.

"Now, Gilligan I want you to picture yourself the day of the rape. I want you to go back all the way to when you step in the shower. Do you see yourself?"

"Yes."

"What do you see now?"

"I see shadow. No, it's Corporal Porter. He's pulling back the curtain... he's getting into the shower with me."

_God, please give us the strength to get through this._ The Professor thought.

"What's happening now?"

"He's standing up against me. He's rubbing my shoulders. I shrug him off. He' was always finding some way to torment me. He comes back and touches me again. I'm getting frightened. I can't get past him! He's touching my chest, my genitals, he won't stop!" Gilligan becomes restless and fearful in his intervention. "STOP!... HELP!... SOMEBODY HELP ME!" He begins to scream. Mary Ann has a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle the sound of her crying. The tears, though, she cannot stop. Fear grips the Professor. He becomes dizzy and nauseated. _NO JOE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE, NOT AGAIN! _ The Professor's mind screams. He shrugs it off once again. He has to focus on Gilligan, just as much as poor Gilligan is having to focus on his torment. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Gilligan vomits all over the Professor's floor. Recalling Gilligan's story, Mary Ann surmised Gilligan was recalling the Corporal kissing him.

"Don't do that. How can you kiss me? You're a disgusting pig!" Gilligan shouted. Gilligan reels backward, almost falling out of his seat Gilligan grabs the back of his head. Mary Ann knew what was coming next. She closed her eyes and held her ears.

"He shoved me, and I hit my head. I lost my balance. He's coming up behind me... No, I can't. Please, I'm scared," Gilligan begged.

"You're only in your mind, Gilligan. We are remembering only. I"m right here and Mary Ann is right here for you," the Professor said in a soothing voice. "Please continue, what is he doing?"

"NO! It's so painful. I feel like I'm dying. I want to die. GOD, LET ME DIE! LET ME DIE!... STOP LAUGHING AT ME! STOP LARRY, PLEASE STOP!" Gilligan screams and cries of hysteria are about to drive Mary Ann over the edge. She wanted to leave, yet she wanted to stay and support the man she loved more than life itself. She began to feel guilty. The hypnosis had been her idea. Was it worth all the pain Gilligan was having to relive? She noticed too how strangely the Professor was acting. He was shaking his head and whispering "no... no," over and over again. He was now huddled in a corner with his arms over his head. Suddenly, the Professor spoke again.

"Stop Gilligan! Clear your mind. Take a deep breath. Now comes phase two. This is where you get your closure, Gilligan," the Professor had promised.

Gilligan's body slumped in the chair. He breathing was heavy and his heart was racing. "Thank God, I don't think I can bear another second."

_Me either._ The Professor thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Gilligan's breathing had returned to normal. He was calm now. The Professor had allowed him to relax and regroup after the intense reliving of the heinous rape that had ripped the poor sailor's world apart in the blink of an eye. The Professor needed time as well, to be sure his voice would be strong and steady enough to continue with the intervention.

"Ok, Gilligan I want you to go back. Picture yourself on the shower floor, trying to get up. Picture it where Larry is coming up behind you," the Professor instructed.

"NO!" Gilligan cried, "Please don't make me feel that way again. Please, I'd rather die than go back!" Tears flowed down his face. The Professor looked at him with sympathy.

"Look Gilligan, when he comes up behind you, the moment he lays a hand on you, you are going to get up and defend yourself. This time, no sodomy will take place. The ball is in your corner and you are going to fight. You will tell him everything you've ever wanted to tell him. Would you like that chance, Gilligan?" The Professor asked.

"Yeah," Gilligan replied through his tears, "you promise I'll get to?"

"I promise," the Professor replied with a warm and confident expression, "I want you to remember starting now. He's coming up behind you..."

"I'm trying to get up. He's coming up behind me. One hand is on my neck, the other on my lower back... GET OFF!" Gilligan shouts, jumping up out of his seat. Mary Ann's eyes grow wide. He was doing it. In Gilligan's mind, he was finally fighting back to save himself.

"I SAID GET OFF!" He yelled, shoving the Professor, thinking he was Larry. "I"M NOT YOUR FAGGOT BOY! YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!"

Mary Ann and the Professor looked at each other. Neither of them had ever heard words like these coming from Gilligan's lips. However, neither one of them could blame him. This was his time to slay the demon that haunted him. Gilligan began to scream. He threw things, swung at the air. He shouted every foul thing a person could imagine, directing them all at Larry. A glass test tube went flying, barely missing Mary Ann. The Professor motioned for her to leave. As she left, she could hear Gilligan calling Larry everything from a no good Mother to taking God's name in vain. She stood outside the window, and observed from there. This was scary, much scarier than she thought it would be.

"I hate you. I hate you. I wish you would die," Gilligan cried, punching the pillow the Professor had handed to him. The Professor's tears had been replaced with a smile. He was nodding his head, saying, "yes, yes, that's right. Let it all out. Tell him. Tell him everything," Mary Ann whispered to him from the window. "Why are you smiling? This is awful. It's so frightening," Mary Ann said. Poor Gilligan looked like he was possessed.

"No," the Professor replied, "this is great. Don't you see? The hypnosis is working. Gilligan is purging his anger. If he doesn't let it out, he won't be able to heal." It made sense to Mary Ann. As long as whatever was happening was for Gilligan's benefit. Gilligan started to become tired. The Professor's pillow was destroyed.

"Gilligan, now you tell him how he made you feel. You tell him everything he's taken from you. Last of all, you're going to take a stance and tell him you're not afraid of him anymore," the Professor said.

"You robbed me of my soul," Gilligan started, "you robbed me of my dignity. You made me be afraid of others. I could lose the woman I love because I can't allow her to get close to me. It's all your fault, Larry! You shattered my innocence. You made me feel dirty. I feel like an outcast and a throwaway. I'm tired of feeling ashamed every time I have to tell this story. You should be ashamed. You should have had to go through what you put me through. It's not fair that you are just in prison and I have to relive my punishment again and again in my sleep." The Professor considered Gilligan's last line. _Larry may be getting his, even as you speak, my friend._

Gilligan continued,'You know what? I'm not afraid of you anymore. I won't be afraid of you anymore. I have people who love me, support me, and don't judge me. I have nothing to be afraid of anymore."

"Keep going, Gilligan!" The Professor urged, under his breath he whispered, "that's right Joe, we're not afraid of you anymore."

"I'm not afraid of you! I'm not afraid of you!" Gilligan was screaming this time.

"Gilligan, did you convince him that you are not afraid?" The Professor asked.

"I think so," Gilligan said, then began to smile, "he's fading away! I can't see him anymore!"

"Good," the Professor told him, 'now in just a moment I'm going to wake you. I want you to remember something very important, and I don't want you to forget it. Every morning you will look in the mirror and say **I'm not a rape victim, I'm a rape survivor.**"

"I'm not a rape victim, I'm a rape survivor," Gilligan repeated.

"That's right, Gilligan, " The Professor said, "and when you wake, you will feel refreshed. You will have new confidence. You will know that you poured out your soul and confronted your tormentor. Whenever you feel afraid, no matter where you are or who's around, you shout to him that you are not afraid."

"I'm not afraid," Gilligan stated.

"Ok, I'm going to count to three and snap my fingers. You'll wake up and you'll have a feeling of closure and of peace," the Professor said, "One... two... three." **Snap**

Gilligan's eyes fluttered open. He took in the sight before him, broken glass, scattered feathers, broken furniture, and vomit on the floor. Mary Ann quietly and carefully slipped back into the door.

"What happened in here?" Gilligan asked.

"Let's just say, Gilligan, you gave Larry a piece of your mind. You really laid into him." The Professor said.

'I did?" Gilligan asked. He couldn't quite believe he had done what the Professor said he did. "I did?" Gilligan asked Mary Ann as well. She shook her head with a smile.

"Oh, you sure did. How are you feeling, Gilligan?" She asked.

"How do I feel? I- I feel amazing. I feel so alive, so light," Gilligan said, almost with a laugh. "I haven't felt this way since I was nineteen years old. Oh thank you, Professor! Thank you, Mary Ann for suggesting I do this. I sure am lucky to be surrounded by people who love me so much." He took Mary Ann by the hand and pulled her into a gentle kiss. "I love you. You're my best friend and always will be."

_Nineteen. Older than I, but still just a boy in many ways, the Professor mulled the comparison over in his mind. The Professor paid little attention, as Gilligan cried tears of joy, as he and Mary Ann held each other. The man was almost giddy with his new found confidence._

_Someone once made you feel that way too. Your greatest supporter, your dearest friend, drifted away. Another crazy act of violence took away your world, Roy. Ten years is all that animal is serving for taking away the one person who understood you best._ The Professor went about trying to clean up his hut, trying to shut out his thoughts. Mary Ann and Gilligan caught sight of this and decided they would clean up the mess.

"Don't do that Professor," Mary Ann said, "Gilligan and I will clean that up. Please let us. Why don't you go get some air. You look exhausted and pale."

"I-I- think I might do that. Thank you," the Professor told them, then he turned to Gilligan, "remember, please talk to yourself everyday. It is very important to remind yourself that you are not a victim and that you are not afraid."

"I promise, I'll remember," Gilligan told him.

Mary Ann waited until she was sure the Professor was out of earshot, then turned to Gilligan and said, "Gilligan, I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I think the Professor may understand your situation from a personal standpoint. I think... I think he's been raped too."

Gilligan just stood there, silent and stunned.


End file.
